Sridevi may have left, but the fans are yet to leave her.
Ram Gopal Varma, the fan of superstar Sridevi is finding it hard to let go of the actor who he had admired for so long.
In a blog he poured his heart out to give a glimpse of the life that Sridevi lived. read what he has to say:
YES like millions of you, I too believed that she was the most beautiful and desirable woman ever and we all know that she was the biggest superstar of the country and ruled the silver screen as the main heroine for more than 20 years.
But that’s just a part of the story. However shocked and sad I feel about Sridevi’s death, it’s finally once again a rude reminder about how unpredictable, cruel, fragile and mysterious that both life and death are.
After her death, more than you all there is definitely much more for me to say than what most people are saying now about, how beautiful she was, what a great actress she was, how her death affected them, ” RIP”s etc etc.
That’s because I had an opportunity to be close to her in the course of my two Films with her Kshanakshanam and Govinda Govinda. Sridevi’s life is a classic case of how a celebrity’s persons actual life is completely different from how the rest of the outside world perceives it.
For many, Sridevi’s life was perfect. Beautiful face, great talent, the seemingly stable family with two beautiful daughters. From outside, everything looked so enviable and desirable… But was Sridevi a very happy person and did she lead a very happy life?
I know her life from the time I met her. I saw with my own eyes how her life was like a bird in the sky till her father’s death and then became like a bird in a cage due to her overprotective mother.
In those days actors used to be only paid in mostly black money and due to fear of tax raids her father used to trust friends and relatives and every one of them betrayed her the moment her father died. Coupled with this the ignorant mother made many wrong investments in litigated properties and all those mistakes combined made her almost penny less by the time Boney came into her life
He himself was in huge debts and all he could afford was to give her a shoulder to cry on.
Her mother became a mental patient because of a wrong surgery on her brain in the USA and somewhere along the way her younger sister Srilatha eloped and got married to their neighbor’s son. The mother before dying put all properties in Sridevi’s name but her sister put a case on Sridevi claiming that her mother was insane and not in her senses when she signed the will.
So in effect, the woman desired by millions in the world was all alone and almost penny less in the world except for one Boney.
Boney ‘s mother portrayed her as a home breaker and publically punched her in the stomach in a five-star hotel lobby for what she did to Boney’s first wife Mona.
In this entire period except for the short glimmer of English Vinglish Sridevi has been pretty much an extremely unhappy woman. The uncertainty of the future, the ugly turns, and twists in her private life left deep scars in the superstars sensitive mind and thereafter she was never at peace.
She went through so much in her life and due to her early career entry as a child artiste, life never gave her time to grow up at a normal pace. More than the external peace, her internal mental state was of a high degree of concern and this forced her to look at her own self.
She was the most beautiful woman for so many people. But did she think she was beautiful? Yes, she did, but every actresses nightmare is age and she was no exception. For years she was doing occasional cosmetic surgeries the effects of which can be clearly seen.
She always came across as a little uptight but that’s because she built a psychological wall around her as she was scared of anybody to really see what’s going on within her. She was panicky about anybody knowing what her insecurities were.
Not because of her fault, but because she was thrust with fame from a very young age it never gave her a chance to be independent and be what she could really be and what she really wanted to be.
She had to put on the makeup and be somebody else not just in front of the camera, but also to put a psychological makeup to hide her real self behind the camera.
She was being constantly directed by the motives of her parents, her relatives, her husband and to an extent even her own children .. She was scared whether her daughters would be accepted or not like most star parents do.
Sridevi is actually a child trapped in a woman’s body ..she is naive as a person, but suspicious because of her bitter experiences which is not a very good combination. Keeping the speculations on her death aside I generally don’t say ” Rest In Peace” after people die, but in her case, I want to really say this because I very strongly believe that she would finally and truly rest in peace now for the first time in her life because she died.
From my personal experience with her, the only time I ever saw her in peace was in front of the camera that too only between Action and Cut ..That’s because she could cut off the harsh reality and escape into her own fantasy world.
That’s why now I am sure she will be at peace forever because she’s finally far far away from what gave her and was giving her so much pain.
RIP Sridevi, but I assure u that the world won’t rest in peace for doing this to you.
We the fans and your near ones have given you only suffering by making you slog in every which way ever since you were a child but you gave us only joy and happiness. Yes it’s not a fair deal but it’s too late to do anything now.
I now have visions of you flying like a free bird across heavenly landscapes with true peace and happiness in your eyes.
I don’t believe in reincarnation but I truly want to believe in it now because we fans in our next birth deserve to experience you once again and this time we will try our best to make amendments and make ourselves worthy enough to deserve you.
Please give us that one chance Sridevi because we all truly love you.
I can go on writing like this but I can’t stop my tears anymore.